It was the biggest excuse for breaking up with me. “You’re too intense.” I lost track of the number of times college coeds told me that. At the same time, the same adjective was whispered in awe when applied to professors in class. You wanted intense professors, but not intense boyfriends. Was “intense” bad or good? I don’t deny being intense. Some of us are just that way. In personal relationships I’ve often managed to keep it under control. It was one of the reasons, however, that I was such a good professor. Students seem to have responded well, even if academia had no permanent home for me. Thus, dark academia. Which tends to be intense. When I throw all my energy at something, it can become intense. But it’s also true that I’m on the receiving end of it. My mental mapping, especially in the fallow times, means that I must try to make sense of it all.
Some periods in life are intense. I’m sure that’s true for everybody. Or most people. A concentration of events when time itself seems to have collapsed on top of you and you still have a 9-2-5 for five long days before you can start to deal with the residue. So far, since the end of November many months ago, I’ve been in an intense zone. So much is happening that I have trouble keeping up. Unlike a dating relationship, I can’t beg off with intensity as an excuse. A big part of it has been the calendar. Thanksgiving fell late and January with its cold felt like it would last forever. Both Trump and AI simmered in the background. And, of course, 9-2-5.
Two major snowstorms were separated by only a few weeks. As the second was tuning up, a death in the family. The third in three years. A novel was finished. As was a nonfiction draft. Two orders from Amazon went awry. Who has time for returns? Because of the storms, things became double-booked. Preparations for the 2026 Lehigh Valley Book Festival. With my expensive books. I really didn’t think they’d select me as a participant, but was committed. Or should be. My wife’s 9-2-5 also hit an intense period. We had to deal with two major household repairs simultaneously. An unexpected auto repair. I checked another website (No Kill Switch) to help define intensity. What he has to say makes a lot of sense, but the question remains. Is intensity good or bad? It does seem to be the opposite of boredom, when you get time to deal with things, after work.














