Eyes Meet

Although the category of “least concern” for extinction is applied to the pileated woodpecker, they are nevertheless astonishing birds.  I’ve seen them a number of times and their large size can be breath-taking.  Their bright red crests make them hard to miss, but many people rarely see them.  I’ve noted before how our rotting wooden fence attracts carpenter bees, and therefore woodpeckers.  Two years ago when I went outside to investigate a tapping—or was it a rapping?—I startled a pileated woodpecker on our fence and for a moment the two of us looked each other directly in the eye.  I saw a dinosaur in that bird.  What really stuck with me, though, was the connection between two beings who look into each other’s pupils.  Scientists tend to tell us that we’re all nothing but atoms, but looking into any other creature’s eyes belies that.

Not my backyard, and not a good enough zoom lens…

When I’m out jogging I find that you can get fairly close to an animal if you don’t look it directly in the eye.  When you make eye contact they take off.  Scientists will use the ultimate fudge factor of “instinct” to explain this, but I think there’s more than that going on.  If you doubt this, I have an experiment for you.  Find someone you love and/or trust completely.  Sit and intentionally stare into each other’s pupils.  See how long your can hold that gaze.  It’s difficult.  We keep our secrets in our heads and we try to avoid eye contact with those with whom we’re not entirely comfortable.  Even with those we love it’s tricky.  We even have the phrase “eye contact.”  Think about that.  When we really look into another’s eyes, what is really going on?  Is there any way to know?  

We have all experienced the sensation of being stared at.  It’s very real, despite what scientists tell us.  In many cultures it’s understood to be rude to stare at someone.  We are a profoundly visual species.  We don’t ascribe the same intimacy to being listened to, for example (except at certain private times).  We fairly easily shut out many sounds on a regular basis.  Even though we’re social creatures, tasting, smelling, and touching others isn’t a normal part of the day for many of us.  But we sure know when somebody looks at us unduly.  And other creatures respond in similar ways.  The other day I jogged very near a deer—almost close enough to touch—because its head was hidden behind a low branch full of leaves.  We couldn’t see each other’s eyes and therefore it was unafraid.  I still remember that woodpecker’s dinosaur eyes, and it flew off immediately after our eyes met.


Don’t Stare

Having people just outside your window all day is a bit unnerving.  We don’t have central air and I keep my windows open when possible in the summer.  My office overlooks the porch roof but the porch was converted into two interior rooms over the years.  (The house was build about 1890.)  With the extreme weather we’ve been getting (rain storms that routinely dump three or four inches of rain in a short period, especially), leaks have developed.  As of this summer, after five years of ownership, we finally have a completely new roof—we had to have it done in parts because it’s not like we have professors’ salaries.  That meant that roofers were outside my office window all day back in August.  Now this is weird.  I was literally six feet away from some of them some of the time, sitting at my laptop, trying not to watch them instead of working.  The roofers, meanwhile, completely ignored me.  Never once when I glanced up did I see any of them looking in the window.

By the end of the day I was freaked out.  You see, as much as I like performing (as any good teacher does), I don’t like being looked at while I’m working at a desk.  I deeply dislike desk jobs and my posture throughout the day becomes, well, idiosyncratic.  Being forced to act as if I were in a sea of cubicles again was difficult.  Of course, I work longer hours now than I did as a commuter (one of the reasons, I expect, many employers don’t insist on people coming back to the office).  Knowing that someone could be watching you, even if they’re not, makes me uncomfortable.  

I considered how it must be for a zoo animal.  Yes, they’re given some privacy, but it’s often limited.  Animals don’t like to be stared at.  (Despite what materialist tell us, we all know what that  feels like and it makes us fidgety.)  When I’m out jogging I find that if I don’t look directly at them, I can get pretty close to many animals.  If you make eye contact, however, they more quickly scurry away.  Those in zoos must eventually become inured to the staring over time, or at least come to realize that nobody’s going to hurt them.  Still, given their druthers, I expect most of them would rather be in the wild where they can do what they do, no matter how boring, without being watched.  And no roofs over their heads at all.