I remember them but imperfectly, my dreams. This can be frustrating when, for example, I dream up a story, complete with an ideal ending, then wake up with only fragments left. I suppose I’m like most people in that I go through phases when I remember dreams and other periods when I don’t. Lately my sleep patterns have me recollecting much of the strangeness in my sleeping head, but not enough to get it all written down into the story that was playing out so perfectly upstairs. Dreams are one reason that we don’t understand consciousness. We’re not 100% rational creatures. And we know that other animals dream. Our minds stay active when we’re asleep and they seem to have no limitations. The stories we tell ourselves when our eyes are closed!
I have some recurring dreams. The details always differ, but I regularly dream that I’m teaching once again. The offending institution apologizes for having dismissed me. Would I please come back? Of course, one-off dreams are more common. Sometimes I have the presence of mind to write them down, but I’m at an age when waking up is often in the service of finding the bathroom and that really breaks the mood and sometimes makes me forget. From my childhood I’ve been told that you don’t die in your dreams, and indeed, usually you wake up before you hit the ground, or whatever. I have, like Maggie Evans in Dark Shadows, dreamed of myself as dead. That’s generally not one of the more pleasant of the species, but the mind ranges widely across the dreamscape. I have a deep sense that we should pay attention to dreams, but being a 9-2-5 worker, getting the morning routine underway has to take precedence.
Lately my dreams seem to be working out fictional stories deliberately. It’s as if my subconscious is saying, “You have unpublished stories sitting on your hard disc, why aren’t you doing something about it?” I sometimes wake up feeling guilty that I’ve been writing nonfiction books when I have several weird stories scrawled out that could use a little more attention. And some other writers I’ve met on social media have been encouraging me to self-publish those stories. So far I’ve resisted, but the temptation is growing. I work in publishing and I can say that the industry is quite difficult to navigate and finding an editor who “gets you” is almost impossible. Maybe I should be basing more of my stories on dreams. At least in the dream world, they’d find a publisher.
