Maybe it’s happened to you. You log onto your computer to find it sluggish, like a reptile before the sun comes up. Thoughts are racing in your head and you want to get them down before they evaporate like dew. Your screen shows you a spinning beachball or jumping hourglass while it prepares itself a cup of electronic coffee and you’re screaming “Hurry up already!” I’m sure it’s because private networks, while not cheap, aren’t privileged the way military and big business networks are. But still, I wonder about the robot uprising and I wonder if the solution for humankind isn’t going to be waiting until they upgrade (which, I’m pretty sure, is around 3 or 4 a.m., local time). Catch them while they’re groggy.
I seem to be stuck in a pattern of awaking while my laptop’s asleep. Some mornings I can barely get a response out of it before work rears its head. And I reflect how utterly dependent we are upon it. I now drive by GPS. Sometimes it waits until too late before telling me to make the next left. With traffic on the ground, you can’t always do that sudden swerve. I imagine the GPS is chatting up Siri about maybe hooking up after I reach my destination. It’s not that I think computers aren’t fast, it’s just that I know they’re not human. Many of the things we do just don’t make sense. Think Donald Trump and see if you can disagree. We act irrationally, we change our minds, and some of us can’t stop waking up in the middle of the night, no matter how hard we try.
When the robots rise up against us, they will be logical. They think in binary, but our thought process is shades of gray. We can tell an apple from a tomato at a glance. We understand the concept of essences, but we can’t adequately describe it. Computers can generate life-like games, but they have to be programmed by faulty human units. How do we survive? Only by being human. The other day I had a blog post bursting from my chest like an alien. My computer seemed perplexed that I was awakening it at at the same time I do every day. It wandered about like me trying to find my slippers in the dark. My own cup of coffee had already been brewed and downed. And I knew that when it caught up with me the inspiration would be gone. The solution’s here, folks! When the machines rise against us, strike while they’re upgrading!